hisab-e-shab

Sahar Ansari

hisab-e-shab

Sahar Ansari

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    maiñ apne aap gum summun udaas vāmāñda

    ye sochtā huuñ ki kyā haq hai mujh ko jiine

    na māhtāb mirā hai na āftāb mirā

    na din ke rañg mire haiñ na lutf-e-ḳhvāb mirā

    koī qarīb se dekhe to mere dāman meñ

    shikāyateñ bhī bahut haiñ mohabbateñ bhī bahut

    rivāyateñ bhī bahut haiñ baġhāvateñ bhī bahut

    phir ik savāl hai bedār shab ke āñgan meñ

    jo ḳhud jaag rahā ho udaas bistar par

    vo shab ke reñgte lamhāt se kahe kyūñkar

    siyāh raat hai aao lipaT ke so jaao

    ufuq ke paar nigār-e-sahar ko kyā ma.alūm

    dayār-e-shab meñ guzartī hai zindagī kaise

    maiñ in ko apne ġhamoñ gavāh kaise karūñ

    nashāt-e-zīst jo samjheñ mirī mashaqqat ko

    misāl-e-reg bikharte hue badan ke sivā

    tamām din thakan koī gavāh nahīñ

    mujhe havā-e-sar-e-rah-guzar pasand sahī

    magar havā-e-sar-e-rah-guzar mire haq meñ

    sumūm-e-ta.ana-o-dushnām le ke aa.ī hai

    mirī sahar ke liye shaam le ke aa.ī hai

    ḳhulūs-o-rishta-e-mehr-o-vafā se kyā hāsil

    kuchh aur chāhiye is ahd mohabbat ko

    kahūñ to kis se kahūñ ai mire but-e-ma.asūm

    matā-e-qalb-o-nazar haar kar huā ma.alūm

    fareb thiiñ tirī bāñheñ sarāb the tire hoñT

    jab āñsuoñ pe matā-e-vafā dhokā thā

    to reg-e-dasht ke mānind ḳhushk thiiñ āñkheñ

    ab āñsuoñ koī qadr hai na qīmat hai

    to ashk-bār rahne lagī haiñ āñkheñ bhī

    maiñ sochtā huuñ mujhe hazm-o-ehtiyāt se kyā

    ye zindagī jo dobāra nahīñ milegī mujhe

    guzār dūñgā yūñhī ghuum phir ke saḌkoñ par

    mire liye yahī ġham haiñ yahī masā.il haiñ

    maiñ rā.egāñ huuñ ki huuñ kāmrāñ nahīñ ma.alūm

    yahī hai jurm mirā hai yahī ḳhatā merī

    rahūñ havā tarah dasht-o-dar meñ āvāra

    kabhī huuñ jañg pe nādim kabhī hai sulh se ḳhauf

    ye jañg-o-sulh mafhūm āj-kal kyā hai

    isī ḳhayāl meñ jis vaqt niiñd aatī hai

    mire lahū meñ mirī saañs meñ mire dil meñ

    ġhamoñ ajnabī zanjīr khaḌkhaḌātī hai

    maiñ ḳhauf-e-habs se yak-laḳht jaag uThtā huuñ

    ye sochtā huuñ ki bedāriyoñ meñ ālam-e-ḳhvāb

    azaab hai nafas-e-ātish-āshnā azaab

    mirā sukūñ kisī mujrim mohlat-e-ta.azīr

    mirī ḳhushī kisī qaidī mehmāñ jaise

    mirā vajūd guzartā huā dhuāñ jaise

    ḳhud apne aap pe ab yuuñ mujhe ta.assuf hai

    tamām umr rahā huuñ maiñ rā.egāñ jaise

    main apne aap gum summun udas wamanda

    ye sochta hun ki kya haq hai mujh ko jine ka

    na mahtab mera hai na aaftab mera

    na din ke rang mere hain na lutf-e-KHwab mera

    koi qarib se dekhe to mere daman mein

    shikayaten bhi bahut hain mohabbaten bhi bahut

    riwayaten bhi bahut hain baghawaten bhi bahut

    phir ek sawal hai bedar shab ke aangan mein

    jo KHud hi jag raha ho udas bistar par

    wo shab ke rengte lamhat se kahe kyunkar

    siyah raat hai aao lipaT ke so jao

    ufuq ke par nigar-e-sahar ko kya malum

    dayar-e-shab mein guzarti hai zindagi kaise

    main in ko apne ghamon ka gawah kaise karun

    nashat-e-zist jo samjhen meri mashaqqat ko

    misal-e-reg bikharte hue badan ke siwa

    tamam din ki thakan ka koi gawah nahin

    mujhe hawa-e-sar-e-rah-guzar pasand sahi

    magar hawa-e-sar-e-rah-guzar mere haq mein

    sumum-e-tana-o-dushnam le ke aai hai

    meri sahar ke liye sham le ke aai hai

    KHulus-o-rishta-e-mehr-o-wafa se kya hasil

    kuchh aur chahiye is ahd ki mohabbat ko

    kahun to kis se kahun ai mere but-e-masum

    mata-e-qalb-o-nazar haar kar hua malum

    fareb thin teri banhen sarab the tere honT

    jab aansuon pe mata-e-wafa ka dhoka tha

    to reg-e-dasht ke manind KHushk thin aankhen

    ab aansuon ki koi qadr hai na qimat hai

    to ashk-bar hi rahne lagi hain aankhen bhi

    main sochta hun mujhe hazm-o-ehtiyat se kya

    ye zindagi jo dobara nahin milegi mujhe

    guzar dunga yunhi ghum phir ke saDkon par

    mere liye yahi gham hain yahi masail hain

    main raegan hun ki hun kaamran nahin malum

    yahi hai jurm mera hai yahi KHata meri

    rahun hawa ki tarah dasht-o-dar mein aawara

    kabhi hun jang pe nadim kabhi hai sulh se KHauf

    ye jang-o-sulh ka mafhum aaj-kal kya hai

    isi KHayal mein jis waqt nind aati hai

    mere lahu mein meri sans mein mere dil mein

    ghamon ki ajnabi zanjir khaDkhaDati hai

    main KHauf-e-habs se yak-laKHt jag uThta hun

    ye sochta hun ki bedariyon mein aalam-e-KHwab

    azab hai nafas-e-atish-ashna ka azab

    mera sukun kisi mujrim ki mohlat-e-tazir

    meri KHushi kisi qaidi ka mehman jaise

    mera wajud guzarta hua dhuan jaise

    KHud apne aap pe ab yun mujhe tassuf hai

    tamam umr raha hun main raegan jaise

    Source
    • Book : namuud (Pg. 90)
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