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Aziz Qaisi

confession

Aziz Qaisi

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    bas itnī rūdād hai merī

    ishq meñ ḳhāna-ḳharāb huā maiñ

    un āñkhoñ thā ishāra

    vaqf-e-jām-o-sharāb huā maiñ

    zulmat-e-shām-e-alam kam karne

    apne ghar meñ aag lagā

    maiñ ne kufr-e-junūñ ke hāthoñ

    mamlakt-e-kaunain gañvā

    dard-e-vafā ko shohrat de

    mahfil mahfil ġhazal sunā kar

    zaḳhmoñ ke gul-daste beche

    galī galī āvāz lagā kar

    des des phailā.ī kahānī

    apnī vafā un jafā

    dhajjī dhajjī rusvā kar

    apne garebāñ un qabā

    dil ke lahū se kitne aañsū

    chamkā chamkā kar chhalkā.e

    reza reza kāñch ke sapne

    liye phirā palkoñ pe uThā.e

    kabhī to ḳhud royā mahfil meñ

    kabhī unheñ ḳhalvat meñ rulāyā

    un ik ik yaad ko samjhā

    ruuh o dil o jaañ sarmāya

    un se jo ġham milā us ġham ko

    ik sauġhāt-e-vafā Thahrāyā

    duniyā ik ik uljhan ko

    un zulfoñ se uljhāyā

    un qāmat afsāna

    daar talak maiñ ne pahuñchāyā

    un ke liye sau jaan se maiñ ne

    maut ko apne gale lagāyā

    har ik sar ko un saudā

    har ik shauq ko vahshat de

    har ik dil ko un tamannā

    har siine ko hasrat de

    bas itnī rūdād hai merī

    ishq meñ ḳhāna-ḳharāb huā maiñ

    kisī shahr meñ kisī hajar meñ

    farsh-e-zamīñ par arsh-e-barīñ par

    kisī sitāre kisī qamar meñ

    ālam-e-arz-o-samā meñ kahīñ par

    kaash koī vo hastī hotī

    jis ko ye rūdād sunātā

    bojh gunāhoñ hai dil par

    aaj shab halkā ho jaatā

    us se kaash ye kah saktā maiñ

    ālam-e-kul tujh se kyā pardā

    kizb-e-mukammal hai ye kahānī

    ye saarā afsāna jhūTā

    maiñ ne ḳhud tarāshā ye but

    aur us but ko ḳhudā.ī de

    mujh ko bhī is par sach gumāñ hai

    jhuuT ko vo ra.anā.ī de

    ā.ina-ḳhānoñ meñ rañgoñ ke

    apnī sūrat ko sarāhā

    apnī taḳhlīq ko puujā

    apnī talbīs ko chāhā

    dil ke mahram ruuh ke shāhid!

    jhuuT aur sach pahchānñe vaale

    maiñ ne unheñ dekhā bhī nahīñ hai

    merī haqīqat jānñe vāle!

    mere ḳhair-o-shar ke muhāsib

    tujh par to sab kuchh raushan hai

    merī sazā jazā ke mālik

    merā jurm ye merā fan hai

    apnī tamannā mulzim huuñ!

    maiñ in ḳhvāboñ mujrim huuñ!

    bas itni rudad hai meri

    ishq mein KHana-KHarab hua main

    un ki aankhon ka tha ishaara

    waqf-e-jam-o-sharab hua main

    zulmat-e-sham-e-alam kam karne

    apne hi ghar mein aag laga di

    main ne kufr-e-junun ke hathon

    mamlakt-e-kaunain ganwa di

    dard-e-wafa ko shohrat de di

    mahfil mahfil ghazal suna kar

    zaKHmon ke gul-daste beche

    gali gali aawaz laga kar

    des des phailai kahani

    apni wafa ki un ki jafa ki

    dhajji dhajji ruswa kar di

    apne gareban un ki qaba ki

    dil ke lahu se kitne aansu

    chamka chamka kar chhalkae

    reza reza kanch ke sapne

    liye phira palkon pe uThae

    kabhi to KHud roya mahfil mein

    kabhi unhen KHalwat mein rulaya

    un ki ek ek yaad ko samjha

    ruh o dil o jaan ka sarmaya

    un se jo gham mila us gham ko

    ek saughat-e-wafa Thahraya

    duniya ki ek ek uljhan ko

    un ki zulfon se uljhaya

    un ki qamat ka afsana

    dar talak main ne pahunchaya

    un ke liye sau jaan se main ne

    maut ko apne gale lagaya

    har ek sar ko un ka sauda

    har ek shauq ko wahshat de di

    har ek dil ko un ki tamanna

    har sine ko hasrat de di

    bas itni rudad hai meri

    ishq mein KHana-KHarab hua main

    kisi shahr mein kisi hajar mein

    farsh-e-zamin par arsh-e-barin par

    kisi sitare kisi qamar mein

    aalam-e-arz-o-sama mein kahin par

    kash koi wo hasti hoti

    jis ko ye rudad sunata

    bojh gunahon ka hai dil par

    aaj ki shab halka ho jata

    us se kash ye kah sakta main

    aalam-e-kul tujh se kya parda

    kizb-e-mukammal hai ye kahani

    ye sara afsana jhuTa

    main ne KHud hi tarasha ye but

    aur us but ko KHudai de di

    mujh ko bhi is par sach ka guman hai

    jhuT ko wo ranai de di

    aaina-KHanon mein rangon ke

    apni hi surat ko saraha

    apni hi taKHliq ko puja

    apni hi talbis ko chaha

    dil ke mahram ruh ke shahid!

    jhuT aur sach pahchanne wale

    main ne unhen dekha bhi nahin hai

    meri haqiqat jaanne wale!

    mere KHair-o-shar ke muhasib

    tujh par to sab kuchh raushan hai

    meri saza jaza ke malik

    mera jurm ye mera fan hai

    apni tamanna ka mulzim hun!

    main in KHwabon ka mujrim hun!

    Source :
    • Book : aaina dar aaina (Pg. 99)

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