Humorous Quotes by Mushtaq Ahmad Yusufi

Lahore ki baa‘z galiyaan itni tang hain ki agar eik taraf se 'aurat aa rahi ho aur doosri taraf se mard, to darmiyaan mein sirf nikaah ki gunjaish bachti hai.

Lahore ki baa‘z galiyaan itni tang hain ki agar eik taraf se 'aurat aa rahi ho aur doosri taraf se mard, to darmiyaan mein sirf nikaah ki gunjaish bachti hai.

Mard ki aankh aur aurat ki zabaan ka dam sabse aakhir mein nikalta hai.

Mard ki aankh aur aurat ki zabaan ka dam sabse aakhir mein nikalta hai.

Moong-phali aur aawaargi mein kharaabi ye hai ki aadmi eik dafaa' shuroo' kar de to samajh mein nahi aata, khatm kaise kare.

Moong-phali aur aawaargi mein kharaabi ye hai ki aadmi eik dafaa' shuroo' kar de to samajh mein nahi aata, khatm kaise kare.

Ghalib duniya mein waahid shaa'ir hai jo samajh mein na aaye to dugna maza deta hai.

Ghalib duniya mein waahid shaa'ir hai jo samajh mein na aaye to dugna maza deta hai.

Auratein paidaishi mehnati hoti hain. Iska andaaza isse laga lein ki sirf 12 feesad khawaateen khoobsurat paida hoti hain, baaqi apni mehnat se ye maqaam haasil karti hain.

Auratein paidaishi mehnati hoti hain. Iska andaaza isse laga lein ki sirf 12 feesad khawaateen khoobsurat paida hoti hain, baaqi apni mehnat se ye maqaam haasil karti hain.

Musalmaan hamesha eik amali qaum rahe hain. Wo kisi aise jaanwar ko muhabbat se nahi paalte jise zibha kar ke kha na sakein.

Musalmaan hamesha eik amali qaum rahe hain. Wo kisi aise jaanwar ko muhabbat se nahi paalte jise zibha kar ke kha na sakein.

Jo mulk jitna ghurbat-zada hoga utna hi aaloo aur mazhab ka chalan ziyaada hoga.

Jo mulk jitna ghurbat-zada hoga utna hi aaloo aur mazhab ka chalan ziyaada hoga.

Jawaan ladki ki edi mein bhi aankhein hoti hain. Woh chalti hai to use pata hota hai ki peeche kaun, kaisi nazron se dekh raha hai.

Jawaan ladki ki edi mein bhi aankhein hoti hain. Woh chalti hai to use pata hota hai ki peeche kaun, kaisi nazron se dekh raha hai.

Mard ishq-o-‘aashiqi sirf eik martaba karta hai, doosri martaba ayyaashi aur uske baad niri ayyaashi.

Mard ishq-o-‘aashiqi sirf eik martaba karta hai, doosri martaba ayyaashi aur uske baad niri ayyaashi.

Gaali, ginti, sargoshi, aur ganda lateefa to sirf apne maadri zabaan mein hi maza deta hai.

Gaali, ginti, sargoshi, aur ganda lateefa to sirf apne maadri zabaan mein hi maza deta hai.

Aasmaan ki cheel, chaukhat ki keel aur court ke wakeel se Khuda bachaaye, nanga karke chhodte hain.

Aasmaan ki cheel, chaukhat ki keel aur court ke wakeel se Khuda bachaaye, nanga karke chhodte hain.

Private aspataal aur clinic mein marne ka sabse bada faaeda ye hai ki marhoom ki jaaedaad, jama-jat'tha aur bank-balance ke bantwaare par pasmandagaan mein khoon-kharaaba nahi hota, kyunki sab doctors ke hisse mein aa jaate hain.

Private aspataal aur clinic mein marne ka sabse bada faaeda ye hai ki marhoom ki jaaedaad, jama-jat'tha aur bank-balance ke bantwaare par pasmandagaan mein khoon-kharaaba nahi hota, kyunki sab doctors ke hisse mein aa jaate hain.

Jab sher aur bakri eik hi ghaat par paani peene lagen to samajh lo ki sher ki niyat aur bakri ki aql mein fitoor hai.

Jab sher aur bakri eik hi ghaat par paani peene lagen to samajh lo ki sher ki niyat aur bakri ki aql mein fitoor hai.

Ghode aur aurat ki zaat ka andaaza uski laat aur baat se kiya jaata hai.

Ghode aur aurat ki zaat ka andaaza uski laat aur baat se kiya jaata hai.

Dushmanon ke hasb-e-adaawat teen darje hain: dushman, dushman-e-jaani, aur rishtedaar.

Dushmanon ke hasb-e-adaawat teen darje hain: dushman, dushman-e-jaani, aur rishtedaar.

Budhaape ki shaadi aur bank ki chauki-daari mein zara farq nahi. Sote mein bhi aankh khuli rakhni padti hai.

Budhaape ki shaadi aur bank ki chauki-daari mein zara farq nahi. Sote mein bhi aankh khuli rakhni padti hai.

Mard ki pasand wo pul-siraat hai jis par koi moti aurat nahi chal sakti.

Mard ki pasand wo pul-siraat hai jis par koi moti aurat nahi chal sakti.

Hamaari gaayiki ki buniyaad table par hai, guftugoo ki buniyaad gaali par.

Hamaari gaayiki ki buniyaad table par hai, guftugoo ki buniyaad gaali par.

Aurat ki edi hataao to uske neeche se kisi na kisi mard ki naak zaroor niklegi.

Aurat ki edi hataao to uske neeche se kisi na kisi mard ki naak zaroor niklegi.

Khaali bori aur sharaabi ko kaun khada kar sakta hai.

Khaali bori aur sharaabi ko kaun khada kar sakta hai.

Is zamaane mein sau fee-sad sach bol kar zindagi karna aisa hi hai jaise bajri milaaye baghair sirf cement se makaan banaana.

Is zamaane mein sau fee-sad sach bol kar zindagi karna aisa hi hai jaise bajri milaaye baghair sirf cement se makaan banaana.

Subah us waqt nahi hoti jab sooraj nikalta hai. Subah us waqt hoti hai jab aadmi jaag uthta hai.

Subah us waqt nahi hoti jab sooraj nikalta hai. Subah us waqt hoti hai jab aadmi jaag uthta hai.

Jitna waqt aur rupya bachchon ko Musalmaano ke science par ehsaanaat rataane mein sarf kiya jaata hai, dasvaan hissa bhi bachchon ko science padhaane mein sarf kiya jaaye to Musalmaanon par bada ehsaan hoga.

Jitna waqt aur rupya bachchon ko Musalmaano ke science par ehsaanaat rataane mein sarf kiya jaata hai, dasvaan hissa bhi bachchon ko science padhaane mein sarf kiya jaaye to Musalmaanon par bada ehsaan hoga.

Musalmaan ladke hisaab mein fail hone ko apne Musalmaan hone ki aasmaani daleel samajhte hain.

Musalmaan ladke hisaab mein fail hone ko apne Musalmaan hone ki aasmaani daleel samajhte hain.

Azaad shaa'iri ki misaal aisi hai jaise baghair net tennis khelna.

Azaad shaa'iri ki misaal aisi hai jaise baghair net tennis khelna.

Angrezi filmon mein log yun pyaar karte hain jaise tukhmi aam choos rahe hain.

Angrezi filmon mein log yun pyaar karte hain jaise tukhmi aam choos rahe hain.

Pakistani afwaahon ki sabse badi kharaabi ye hai ki sach nikalti hain.

Pakistani afwaahon ki sabse badi kharaabi ye hai ki sach nikalti hain.

Hamaara aqeeda hai ki jise maazi yaad nahi rahta uski zindagi mein shaayad kabhi kuch hua hi nahi, lekin jo apne maazi ko yaad hi nahi karna chaahta wo yaqeenan loafer raha hoga.

Hamaara aqeeda hai ki jise maazi yaad nahi rahta uski zindagi mein shaayad kabhi kuch hua hi nahi, lekin jo apne maazi ko yaad hi nahi karna chaahta wo yaqeenan loafer raha hoga.

mujhe raushan khayaal biwi bahut pasand hai... ba-sharte ki woh kisi doosre ki ho.

mujhe raushan khayaal biwi bahut pasand hai... ba-sharte ki woh kisi doosre ki ho.

Be-sabab dushmani aur badsoorat aurat se ishq haqeeqat mein dushmani aur ishq ki sabse na-khaalis qism hai. Ye shuru hi wahaan se hui hai jahaan ‘aql khatm ho jaave hai.

Be-sabab dushmani aur badsoorat aurat se ishq haqeeqat mein dushmani aur ishq ki sabse na-khaalis qism hai. Ye shuru hi wahaan se hui hai jahaan ‘aql khatm ho jaave hai.

Jaade aur budhaape ko jitna mahsoos karoge utna hi lagta chala jaayega.

Jaade aur budhaape ko jitna mahsoos karoge utna hi lagta chala jaayega.

Aadmi eik baar professor ho jaaye to umr bhar professor hi rahta hai, khwaah baad mein samajh-daari ki baatein hi kyun na karne lage.

Aadmi eik baar professor ho jaaye to umr bhar professor hi rahta hai, khwaah baad mein samajh-daari ki baatein hi kyun na karne lage.

Badhiyaan cigarette peete hi har shakhs ko mu‘aaf kar dene ko jee chaahta hai... khwaah woh rishtedaar hi kyun na ho.

Badhiyaan cigarette peete hi har shakhs ko mu‘aaf kar dene ko jee chaahta hai... khwaah woh rishtedaar hi kyun na ho.

Nasha aur aatm-katha mein jo na khule, usse darna chaahiye.

Nasha aur aatm-katha mein jo na khule, usse darna chaahiye.

Gaane wali soorat achhi ho to mohamal she'r ka matlab bhi samajh mein aa jata hai.

Gaane wali soorat achhi ho to mohamal she'r ka matlab bhi samajh mein aa jata hai.

Sher, hawaai jahaaz, goli, truck aur Pathan reverse gear mein chal hi nahi sakte.

Sher, hawaai jahaaz, goli, truck aur Pathan reverse gear mein chal hi nahi sakte.

Kisi khoobsurat 'aurat ke muta‘alliq ye sunta hoon ki woh paarsa bhi hai to na jaane kyun dil baith sa jaata hai.

Kisi khoobsurat 'aurat ke muta‘alliq ye sunta hoon ki woh paarsa bhi hai to na jaane kyun dil baith sa jaata hai.

Khoon, mushk, ishq aur na-jaaez daulat ki tarah umr bhi chhupaaye nahi chhupti.

Khoon, mushk, ishq aur na-jaaez daulat ki tarah umr bhi chhupaaye nahi chhupti.

Jo shakhs kutte se bhi na dare, uski valdiyat mein shubha hai.

Jo shakhs kutte se bhi na dare, uski valdiyat mein shubha hai.

Ijaad aur aulaad ke lachchhan pahle hi se maa'loom ho jaaya karte to duniya mein na koi bachcha hone deta aur na ijaad.

Ijaad aur aulaad ke lachchhan pahle hi se maa'loom ho jaaya karte to duniya mein na koi bachcha hone deta aur na ijaad.

Such to ye hai ki hukoomaton ke alaawa koi bhi apni maujooda taraqqi se mutmain nahi hota.

Such to ye hai ki hukoomaton ke alaawa koi bhi apni maujooda taraqqi se mutmain nahi hota.

Bandar mein humein iske 'alaawa aur koi 'aib nazar nahi aata ki woh insaan ka jadd-e-aala hai.

Bandar mein humein iske 'alaawa aur koi 'aib nazar nahi aata ki woh insaan ka jadd-e-aala hai.

Isse ziyaada bad-naseebi aur kya hogi ki aadmi eik ghalat pesha apnaaye aur usmein kaamiyaab hota chala jaaye.

Isse ziyaada bad-naseebi aur kya hogi ki aadmi eik ghalat pesha apnaaye aur usmein kaamiyaab hota chala jaaye.

Taa'n-o-tashnee'a se agar doosron ki islaah ho jaati to barood ijaad karne ki zaroorat pesh na aati.

Taa'n-o-tashnee'a se agar doosron ki islaah ho jaati to barood ijaad karne ki zaroorat pesh na aati.

Umr-e-tabee‘ee tak to sirf kavve, kachhuve, gadhe aur woh jaanwar pahunchte hain jinka khaana shar‘an haraam hai.

Umr-e-tabee‘ee tak to sirf kavve, kachhuve, gadhe aur woh jaanwar pahunchte hain jinka khaana shar‘an haraam hai.

Duniya mein ghibat se ziyaada jaldi hazm hone waali koi cheez nahi.

Duniya mein ghibat se ziyaada jaldi hazm hone waali koi cheez nahi.

Baat ye hai ki gharelu budget ke jin masaa’il par main cigarette pee-pee kar ghaur kiya karta tha, woh dar-asl paida hi kasrat-e-cigarette-noshi se hue the.

Baat ye hai ki gharelu budget ke jin masaa’il par main cigarette pee-pee kar ghaur kiya karta tha, woh dar-asl paida hi kasrat-e-cigarette-noshi se hue the.

Aap raashi, zaani aur sharaabi ko hamesha khush-akhlaaq, milansaar aur meetha paayenge. Is waaste ki woh nakhwat, sakht-giri aur bad-mizaaji afford hi nahi kar sakte.

Aap raashi, zaani aur sharaabi ko hamesha khush-akhlaaq, milansaar aur meetha paayenge. Is waaste ki woh nakhwat, sakht-giri aur bad-mizaaji afford hi nahi kar sakte.

Beeti hui ghadiyon ki aarzoo karna aisa hi hai jaise tooth-paste ko waapas tube mein ghusaana.

Beeti hui ghadiyon ki aarzoo karna aisa hi hai jaise tooth-paste ko waapas tube mein ghusaana.

Homeopathy ka buniyaadi usool ye hai ki chhota marz door karne ke liye koi bada marz khada kar do. Chunaanche mareez nazle ki shikaayat kare to dawa se pneumonia ke asbaab paida kar do. Phir mareez nazle ki shikaayat nahi karega. Homeopathy ki karega.

Homeopathy ka buniyaadi usool ye hai ki chhota marz door karne ke liye koi bada marz khada kar do. Chunaanche mareez nazle ki shikaayat kare to dawa se pneumonia ke asbaab paida kar do. Phir mareez nazle ki shikaayat nahi karega. Homeopathy ki karega.